A Bullet is Waiting

The Film Noir Odyssey

Writer: Thames Williamson and Casey Robinson

Story: Thames Williamson

Director: John Farrow

Cast: Jean Simmons, Rory Calhoun, Stephen McNally, Brian Aherne

Cinematography: Franz Planer

Music: Dimitri Tiomkin

Studio: Columbia

Release: September 4, 1954

There are three things that I enjoyed about “A Bullet is Waiting.” The first is the title. The second is the poster. The third is the opening sequence.

I hated everything else.

That opening sequence chronicles the aftermath of a plane crash, where director John Farrow (“His Kind of Woman”) and cinematographer Franz Planer (“The Chase”) introduce the viewer to everything they need to know by tracking visual indicators of the storyline. We see a crashed plane wheel. Footsteps. A badge. Then, finally, two men in a bitter fight together while handcuffed. It’s an astonishing sequence. I wish it were in a better movie.

Those men are a sheriff named Ed (Rory Calhoun) and his prisoner Frank (Stephen McNally). Ed killed Frank’s brother and now Frank ostensibly wants to bring him back to the authorities, but Ed suspects Frank wants to kill him. As they stalk through the wilderness, the men happen upon a farm and a woman named Cally (Jean Simmons). She’s the daughter of an Oxford professor named David (Brian Aherne), who is out of town but will return for a deus ex machina moment in the final act. Cally is immediately drawn to Ed and suspicious of Frank, and ultimately falls in love with Ed.

So ostensibly this is a mash-up of the Noir and Western genres, but don’t be fooled by that plot synopsis, it’s not good at either. Instead, it’s more interested in being either boring or terrible.

The storyline itself has a lot of potential, none of which is acted upon. Had the screenwriters instead had both men insist they were the Sheriff and then made Cally unsure of who to trust for the first half, that would have been something substantive and interesting. But instead, both men tell Cally what’s up, allow her to keep the gun even though both could steal it at any time to end the movie in 20 seconds, and then just sit around for days.

The film is also unforgivable in how it handles the romance between Cally and Ed. Why? Because before the end of the first act, Ed attempts to rape Cally until she pulls a knife on him. This happens onscreen in a brutal, savage scene. Instead of this underlining that Ed is a murderer and a bad guy, Cally actually falls in love faster because of it. The rape is never brought up again, instead having Cally insist over and over that Ed is a great guy despite being an attempted rapist and full-on murderer… including to her father, who probably would have liked to know that information. The movie wants us to root for them and believe that they are soulmates.

It’s disgusting.

And after the near rape, the filmmakers have the audacity to use dime store psychology on the characters to underline Ed’s goodness and make Frank seem suspicious, which makes the movie all the more insidious.

The director is John Farrow, who made many excellent films in addition to “His Kind of Woman,” including “The Big Clock” and “Alias Nick Beal.” Co-Screenwriter Casey Robinson wrote some straight-up masterpieces including “Now, Voyager” and “Kings Row.” So what the fuck happened?!

I don’t want to place all the blame on co-Screenwriter Thames Williamson… but I am. He also wrote a film called “Taming Sutton’s Girl” where a bunch of creepy old men fight over a 17-year-old and a subplot sees a burlesque singer lying and saying she was nearly raped by a man she seduced. So… problematic and just plain gross. Check and check.

The talented Simmons clearly has no idea what to do with her character, and has no chemistry whatsoever with the wooden Calhoun. McNally has an impossible character to play, so I don’t blame him for the horrible performance.

Dimitri Tiomkin is one of the most talented composers in film history, but he also seems at a loss here, scoring most of the music like a cute comedy and not a movie about an evil man who nearly rapes a woman and then tricks her into thinking she loves him.

Look, I could go on about how the color cinematography is ill-suited for the story and how looney the ending is… but in all honesty, you don’t need to read that. All you need to know is that “A Bullet is Waiting” is an evil film that you should not watch. So that’s where I’ll end things.

Score: ZERO stars